Let’s Stop Pretending Value and Joy Are Mutually Exclusive

More and more leaders are coming to me asking for help creating commercial value.

Sometimes that is with a clear eye on a future sale. Sometimes it is about building a team or leadership presence that creates the conditions for growth and innovation in challenging times. The context changes, but the underlying question is the same: how do I build something that works, that grows, and that holds value over time? The question most people miss is whether they actually want the job they’re building for themselves.

Most of the people I speak to are not starting from scratch. They are following what sounds like a strong strategy. Build something scalable, create structure, hire well, step away from delivery and think bigger. On paper, it all makes sense.

But when you spend a bit more time with them, something else starts to show up. A kind of friction. Often between who they think they should be, and who they actually are.

They are trying so hard to step into someone else’s version of success that they have not stopped to notice it does not quite fit.

By the time they come to me, they are usually tired. Not because they lack capability, but because they have been pushing themselves to become the “right” version of a leader, or to mould their business into something that looks good from the outside.

The assumption is that they need to push harder. Be more disciplined. Get better at the parts that feel uncomfortable. Follow the model more closely.

But this is where things start to go wrong.

The issue is not always execution.

It is design.

I’m sharing this story with permission, with some details changed to protect confidentiality, as it brings to life how a whole human approach to coaching and mentoring supports success, both personally and commercially.

When I first met this client, they had been working with a business advisor for over 18 months. They had originally sought support to build resilience into their business. Financially, the business was successful, but there was an underlying concern that if something happened to them, the business would struggle to continue.

Over time, the advice they received led them towards a more scalable model. Moving from a client centred business to a training business for others in their sector, with programmes, systems, hiring, and a clear path to growth. It was logical. It was well considered. And the thought of building it was making them deeply unhappy.

On paper, it was a more valuable business. In reality, it was the wrong one for them to run.

This is someone who does not enjoy managing people or dealing with operational complexity. What they are exceptional at is being in the work itself. Working closely with clients, solving complex problems, and delivering at a very high level. Delighting clients and pulling off the impossible is their superpower, not CEO administration.

Moving away from client work was not just uncomfortable, it would have been a complete departure from why they set up the business in the first place. Their magic is just that. It is theirs. Not something that can be neatly packaged into a five step process and sold on like commercial orange squash.

By the time we met, there was a growing gap between what they were building and how they actually wanted to spend their time. Had they continued, they would likely have ended up with something that looked successful from the outside but felt increasingly draining to run. They were seriously considering walking away from a very successful business altogether.

So we did something that sounds simple, but is often avoided. We stopped and changed the starting point.

Not “what scales best?” but “what actually works for you?”

What do you actually want your job to look like?

The first mission was to ‘fall back in love’ with the core business. From there, we created space to explore adjacent avenues that would stretch them and keep them engaged. This did not weaken the core proposition. It strengthened it.

The business now has a re-energised owner, fully back in the work and building momentum again.

From that place, we turned our attention to resilience and future value.

We have begun to design a different model. One built around collaboration with other specialists. Leaning into strengths, networks, and shared capability to create not just value, but the kind of resilience that actually supports the person at the centre of it.

That includes the less glamorous but critical elements. Holiday cover. A shared service standard for referred work. A sense of community and mutual support.

And here is the interesting part.

As that network strengthens, each of the businesses within it becomes more valuable. The whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts. And no one had to start from scratch or become something they are not.

This approach provides genuine support when demand increases, without requiring them to move away from the work they do best. It also creates a collective strength, where together these businesses have a greater opportunity to build meaningful commercial value over time.

The outcome is not fundamentally different. There is still growth, still resilience, still value.

But the journey looks very different.

And crucially, it is one they actually want to be on.

What made the difference here was not more advice or a better model.

It was stepping out of “what should this look like?” and into “what actually works for you?”

That shift from applying a model - to designing from the individual is where this kind of work becomes transformational.

This is where strengths based leadership becomes more than a concept. It becomes a lever for commercial success.

If leaders continue trying to fit into models that do not suit them, they will always operate below their potential.

The shift is not about ignoring weaknesses. It is about being far more deliberate about where you place your time, energy, and focus.

Understanding what gives you energy, where you do your best thinking, how you naturally create value, and being honest about what does not,  allows you to build in a way that is both more effective and more sustainable.

Because when people are working in a way that fits them, performance improves. Consistency improves. Decision making improves.

And that is what creates real value over time.

This is not just a founder problem.

I see the same pattern inside organisations all the time. Leaders stepping into roles that require a version of them that does not quite fit. Experts promoted into management because it is seen as progression, only to find themselves spending most of their time in work that drains them. Organisations designing structures that look right on paper but create constant friction in how decisions are made and how people actually work together.

None of this is inherently wrong. In many cases, it is considered best practice. But it often ignores the human at the centre of the system.

We tend to treat leadership as if it sits above the person. As if you can define the strategy, design the structure, and expect the individual to simply execute it.

But humans are not separate from the system. They are part of it.

When the way of working aligns with the person leading it, things tend to move more easily. Decisions are cleaner, energy is more consistent, and performance is more sustainable. When there is misalignment, it shows up somewhere. In friction, in overthinking, in avoidance, or in the need to push far harder than should be necessary just to maintain momentum.

This is what whole human leadership means in practice.

Not a soft idea about bringing your whole self to work, but a much more grounded and, at times, uncomfortable principle. Designing how you lead and what you build in a way that takes the whole human into account.

There is no single right way to build a valuable business or to lead well inside an organisation. But there is a pattern that tends not to hold over time. Building something that disconnects you from how you actually think, work, and create value.

If you find yourself pushing something forward that you are already starting to resist, whether that is a business, a team, or a role, it is worth pausing.

Not to question your capability.

But to question the design.

Because more often than not, it is not a motivation problem.

It is a design problem.

This is the work.

Designing businesses and leadership roles that actually fit the people running them.

If you’re building something that doesn’t quite fit, let’s talk. https://calendly.com/emma-thorp/45-min-meeting